


To Fight the Good Fight

by Thunder_Cakes



Series: On Your Left (SamSteve Bingo) [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Discussions of war/death/responsibility, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, On Your Left - The SamSteve Bingo, because of course it does, ends in fluff, fuck nazis, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23384713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thunder_Cakes/pseuds/Thunder_Cakes
Summary: “Sam.”“Hmm?”“I... I know we’ve talked about this, and you’ve made your choice and I don’t want to belittle that.”Sam swings his head lazily to look Steve in the eye. “...Okay?”“It’s just... is this what you signed up for? Is this what I signed up for? The danger, sure. And I have no doubts that you can handle it. But this? It’s a lot of death. Don’t we have enough nightmares between us?”It's a good fight. But how long do they fight it?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Series: On Your Left (SamSteve Bingo) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543153
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	To Fight the Good Fight

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, as always, to my friend and beta [Sadie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadieb798)
> 
> Prompt: Orange Sunset

Steve turns the rickety pickup truck off onto a gravel road, following it through the woods until it deadends at lookout. He decides they’re far enough from the explosion and hidden from the main road to camp down for a few hours. 

“Gotta patch up that leg,” he says, nodding to the small gash on Sam’s calf. It’s the first thing he’s said since they met at the rendezvous point. 

Sam nods and follows him out of the cab, around the bumper and up onto the truck bed. He leans back, lets Steve take care of his leg and takes in the view. The break in the trees gives them glimpses of the distant orange sunset, stripped in pink and purple clouds. It’s a strange peace after the chaos of a raid and Sam’s thankful for the respite, not only for himself but also because Steve so clearly needs it. 

Steve finishes bandaging the admittedly small wound and scoots up to sit next to Sam. He pulls Sam’s injured leg into his lap and leans against the cab’s window with a sigh. This wasn’t their first HYDRA base; wasn’t even their first one crawling with agents, but it felt different this time. Personal. Sam isn't sure what Steve saw in there, but he’s tense and giving Sam’s leg more attention than it really deserves. 

“Sam.”

“Hmm?”

“I... I know we’ve talked about this, and you’ve made your choice and I don’t want to belittle that.”

Sam swings his head lazily to look Steve in the eye. “...Okay?”

“It’s just... is this what you signed up for? Is this what _I_ signed up for? The danger, sure. And I have no doubts that you can handle it. But this? It’s a lot of death. Don’t we have enough nightmares between us?” 

Sam sighs and looks back towards the sunset. “Ya know, I still have a lot of complicated, regretful and confusing feelings about the wars I participated in. I didn’t always know who or what I was fighting for. I’ll never be able to unravel the consequences of my actions or who the fault falls on or know exactly how much blood is on my hands. It’s one of the things I talk to my therapist about on those weekly phone calls you pretend not to know about.”

Steve ducks his head. Of course, he knows about Dr. Jackie. He always makes sure they’re in a motel or safe house by her Thursday afternoon call so he can take a run or find the nearest grocery store so Sam can have his privacy. He may also have avoided it because he knows sooner or later Sam will suggest Steve find a therapist of his own, and he’s not sure he’s there yet. 

“But I can promise you this,” Sam continues. “I have no qualms, regrets or grief for any harm done to Nazis. Under any name. Fuck ‘em all. Those aren’t faces I expect to haunt me. Ever. I don’t enjoy it, but I don’t feel guilty about it either. That doesn’t make this _easy_ , but it’s certainly not a hardship. Yes, I came with you because you’re my friend and you so clearly needed me. But I also came for me. I needed a fight I could believe in. Use my skills in ways I won’t doubt in ten years. This shit is gnarly, but I don’t question it or why we’re here. And I don’t question you.” 

Steve rests his forehead against Sam’s temple. “How do you do that? Make the jumble in my brain quiet. Make it make sense.”

“Years of therapy with a licensed professional,” Sam snorts. “Specifically one I was not fucking,” he adds pointedly.

Steve huffs a laugh, nudging Sam’s earlobe with his nose. “Speaking of...”

Sam barks a laugh, shoving Steve’s chest so he can look him in the eye. “But really, Steve. Just because I’m generally fine with it, doesn’t mean you have to be. Bucky’s out. He’s safe and figuring out his own life. He’s not asking this of you and neither am I. If you wanna be done, we’ve got a house, friends, and family waiting for us on the East Coast. It’s up to you.”

“What about you? You just said you needed this fight,” Steve’s eyes search his face. 

Sam shrugs. “I did. And I have no problems with fighting it. But there are others we can trust to take it up now. And I think all I really need is my wings and you.” Sam cups Steve’s cheek, thumb brushing across his cheekbone. 

Steve’s shoulders droop and he collapses into Sam’s lap. Sam’s hand moves to the back of his head, carding through his hair. 

“I’ll think about it,” Steve declares, face buried in Sam’s thighs. “Maybe even with a licensed professional that I am not fucking.” 

Sam laughs again, tilting his head back and taking in the last warm rays of the day. “You know technically, you’re not fucking one right now, even though you brought me to this very pretty lookout that I highly suspect is the local teens’ favorite make-out spot.”

Steve’s head pops up, eyes already hot and hands moving up Sam’s thighs. “I’m sorry, is that an offer?” 

Sam smirks, opens his arms and tilts his head to the side to give Steve easy access. He dives forward, wrapping his lips around Sam’s earlobe and tugging lightly with his teeth. 

“You’re so easy,” Sam chuckles, the tease more flustered than he intended. 

Steve sits back and flips open one of the compartments on the chest of Sam’s flight suit. Out pops a small container of lube. “Yeah, I’m the easy one,” he snorts.

Sam shakes his head, grinning up at him. “What a pair we are.” 

Their laughter makes kissing a little harder, but they figure it out. They always do.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out all the other lovely SamSteve works over at SamSteveBingo on tumblr.


End file.
